Dear all,
Last saturday was already the third session, and finally I'm posting something on the blog. The first session was a shock to me, for I thought that I am "trained" in tango to be comfortable with having connection with people I mightor might not be familiar with. But once I closed my eyes, I found thatI was not ready to leave everything unknown to me, meaning in tango,even when I dance with strangers, I know at least the basic steps are"universal." In the session, I had no idea what would ever happen to me. Panicked, I realized that the fear came from not the darkness but myself,'cuz I focused on "I" and "my leader" rather than the one that I was walking "with." There was no right or wrong, indeed. The session went on, and the mirror play is always confusing to me.Doing exactly what I see is not difficult, but it's just not the point! Thereshould be concrete but unseen conversation, and it happened fomr time to time. But whenever I think that I am "fully conscious," I lose it in a wink. After all, now I learn to wait for each other, for whoever "talks," just likeI should never interrupt others, which often ruins the whole communication.
Last saturday I shared the three drawings with 芝卉 and examined my own thought when I explain. Among them, colors used in the third are obviously brighter than those in the previous two. There are flowers which are actually combination of questionmarks and exclamationmarks. At some points, I getconfused and hesitate among why and what I am doing. It never occurred to methat one can be so much oneself with "a group of strangers." But as in the drawing,the center and then dots around it gleams, which overpowers my hesitation. That is how I feel when each session ends, where doubts become surprises, and then in full bloom. :) love you all.
Nathalie (Ting-yun)
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